23 Oct Building From Your Being
Years ago, after just becoming a mother, I had a friendly debate/conversation about life and how in life, a woman (people – but, I think this is mostly women) can become consumed with success or the fear of not being enough in every season. You see – I had just had a child, and I felt consumed by motherhood immediately, but in many ways. One of my worries was that I had not done enough, become enough, or impacted enough to 1. have him be proud of me, and 2. or for me to slow down and simply enjoy this season (motherhood) of my life.
But – here is the kicker. I did not know what I should be doing more of, being more of, or who I should be even impacting at that moment. I was one sleep-deprived, breastfeeding, back-at-work mama, trying to make it happen everywhere in my life.
During the conversation, the other person advised that I wanted too much in life. She explained that her goal in life was to get a decent job, have a good retirement, buy both of her children cars, send them to college, and then sip wine in the evening on her back deck (assuming they had moved away). The end.
I did not get her perspective.
“You don’t want more?” I asked. And she said,” no, and what’s wrong with that? What if my purpose on earth is just to be a mother to these kids? What if your purpose on earth was only to be a mama to your boy?”
I replied, “How will you know if you don’t try? I know he is part of my purpose, but I also know that I have a ton to do.”
Ya’ll – I lied; I did not know anything. I just knew that I wanted to be a mother, and I wanted to be God’s vessel that was made to impact the world.
I feel bad for even typing that, and I hate to say this, but I cringed when she expressed her wants. I love my child, and I love being a mother more than anything, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING that I have ever done in life. But — would it, could it ‘even’ be possible that my God put me on the earth to do this one thing and that is it?
While I am honored that God trusted me with my son and the role of motherhood, hearing her say those words made me feel so boxed in.
Needless to say, this conversation stuck with me.
This week as we have been talking about purpose and what it really means – it has brought that conversation back into remembrance and consequently brought me to this question:
What if I yearn for things that are not necessary for His Plan? What is what I want is not what God wants?
Sis, that scares me, and my stomach is clinching as type these words.
What if what I want is not what God wants?
Every year we gush over the lives of people who have more than us, listen to everyone and anything speaking about purpose, make vision boards, and chant affirmations to manifest the lives that we want (all of these are great things btw). Still, we do this with the full knowledge that God has already called and predestined us (Romans 8:30).
Our lives are centered around media that we have allowed it to be a teacher, telling us what we should want or what we need. (Heck, I binged The Home Edit on Netflix, and I am now convinced that I need a home organizing budget.)
But – let us be serious for a moment. Have you ever just asked yourself the question: What does God want from me?
As we have been talking about purpose, we need to know that our God is a God of purpose. The Bible states in Genesis 1:26, “And God said, Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.” And because God is purpose-filled, he made us in His image. Why? Because He has a plan. He created us so that He could share His life with us and so that we could be His expression. And even after humanity fell to sin, he still wants us.
And I think this is the part where it gets all twisted.
Our careers and plans are not our purposes.
I heard someone say that “If your purpose were a career, that would mean that going to the cross was a career for Jesus Christ.”
In Believe Bigger, by Author Marshawn Evans Daniels, it says that “your purpose is the natural impact that your life and presence have on others.” Your purpose makes God’s plan for humankind more complete. It reveals something in you that is unique about God, and your purpose is not what you do. It is who you are.
Then she goes on to say, “and then there is your calling, and your calling is your assignment. A mission, in an area that God has called for you to complete.”
Knowing that my purpose is who we are, reveals that our careers and fancy ideas about our lives do not need to be in alignment with our purposes. They can help and enhance our purposes, but they do not define them.
We have allowed the pursuit of purpose to become an idol. It is elusive and has become one of those things-you-run-after-but-never find. Guru’s, life coaches, and influencers like to make it about your career. But you cannot run after what you already are. You don’t need to strive to do more or be more; you are who your Father has created you to be. You have arrived, just by waking, by living, by breathing. There is no more, only you.
Stop looking and be, and then build out of your being. You have everything you need, sis. Build from your being.