04 Sep My Unanswered Prayer
I need to ask you something.
What prayers have you given up on?
FULL TRANSPARENCY MOMENT: I think that I may have given up on my healing.
If you know me intimately, then you may know that I have late-onset Type 1 (juvenile) diabetes (diagnosed at age 21, I am now 38), thyroid disease, and a myriad of other symptoms caused by having autoimmune diseases. Dealing with my diagnoses, I have consistently prayed to God to make them go away (produce healing). I have been to the altar for special prayer. I have read books looking for answers for healing. I have changed my diet for healing. I have done 2-a-days at the gym, and I even tried to produce more faith for my healing.
Today, as you read this newsletter, my healing for these illnesses has not manifested, and I do not know why.
I have often wondered — if the experience of seeing my mother die of cancer (after we prayed for her healing) affected my faith – and therefore affected my healing. I stand before you as a sold-out believer who loves God, but I’m also a girl who wants her momma. I still struggle with accepting God’s will in her death.
So, does my desire for her presence mean something that I am unaware of? If I question the purpose of her death, do I also question the likelihood of my healing?
The bills I accrue and the symptoms that have come with these diseases have become quite familiar to me. I know when to order medicine from Walgreens and when to go to see my doctors. I know that twice a month, I have to increase my insulin to account for hormonal shifts in my body. I know not to eat carbs after nine, or dairy and gluten. I know that some mornings, my energy is low, and it may come with achy joints and a foggy head.
All of this happens so frequently that I have just started to accept it as my routine, and somewhere along the way, I stopped praying for my healing.
Now, if you are thinking – she sells prayer journals, does she not pray? No, it is not that I don’t pray! I pray daily; I just somehow stopped praying for my healing.
Women of Judah, maybe you are also dealing with an illness. Perhaps, you are not. But I would like to ask you: What are you praying for that has yet to manifest in your life? Is there something you’ve wanted for so long that it became common not to have it.
Have you become so used to being single that you stopped praying for a spouse?
Have you become so comfortable at your job that you stopped praying for your dreams?
Have you become so used to living from paycheck to paycheck that you stopped praying for an increase?
Has it become typical not to hear the laughter of children, so you stopped praying to be a mama?
Are you so used to arguing with your spouse that you have stopped praying for restoration?
What are those unanswered prayers – that have just become “life”? Did you give up on them, or did you forget to keep praying for them?
The story I best resonate with, in the Bible, is that of Hannah. Hannah had an overcomers heart of faith. Her name meant grace or favor. The thing about Hannah that we know was the cause of great suffering was that she was barren. In the culture of that time, that had to be devastating. She was the wife of Elkanah. Elkanah’s other wife had children would tease Hannah because the Lord did not give her any children. One day when she could no longer bear the pain of her empty womb, she went to the temple to present her supplication to the Lord. She cried out to the Lord and wept bitterly. Eli told her to go in peace and asked that the Lord would grant her request. After that, Hannah was no longer sad, and she no longer fasted.
Author Michelle McClain-Walters puts Hannah’s waiting this way, “There are times when prayers are seemingly delayed, and it is during these times that God is downloading revelation about Himself that you will need on your journey to fulfilling your destiny. Your waiting is an active process. You should still be serving the Lord. The Bible tells us that “those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Sis, who told us that God was no longer in the business of granting miracles?
I am guilty of questioning the timing of my healing, but God’s timing isn’t our timing. God sits outside of time and sees the entirety of our lives from the beginning to the end. He is all-powerful and knows what we need before we even need it. He is a good Father that has already provided for each of our needs expressly. Our Word tells us to “consider the lilies.” If He is willing to make provisions for the lilies, will he not provide for us. We must remain steadfast in our faith, knowing that He is not only willing, but that he can do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think.
The answer to your prayers is coming. Do not relent in your prayer life. Like Hannah, let us resist discouragement and distraction while being resilient, and God will bless us at the right time.