07 Aug To Go or Not to Go: That is the Question!
I am stressed.
Yea. I said it.
Having to decide on whether to send my child to school during the pandemic or keep him home while I work has done a number on my soul.
My husband and I have known for a while that we would have to make this decision. In fact, we paid a registration fee at two different schools, hoping it would lend us some time to make a more well-informed, safe decision.
Well, here we are, the actual week school is supposed to start, and both my husband and I are looking at the other person to make the final call.
Do I send him to school? Do I not? I know he needs it,
Heck, I need it!
But then again, his health. My health. My job. His learning. I go round and round with the good and the bad.
Am I wrong if I do? Am I selfish? Am I a bad mother? How does this choice show that I am loving and worthy? If I choose incorrectly, what does that mean about my mothering?
Sis, to be honest, I have been wrestling with God on this one. People are getting sick. People are dying. People are fatigued, stressed, and discouraged. Families are breaking apart. And then, here I am. Praying that we would not have to make this decision. I am praying “the rona,” as I’ve heard it playfully called, would go and that we could trust that we would be ok!
I am in the thick of it. I have been reading the news nightly, hoping for a sign.
I have checked in with several other parents to see what they were doing, hoping their way would be the right way for us too.
I have called the school weekly to see if protocols had finally put in place, or if any of the administration would be tested (I am sure they are tired of me). Hoping for enough procedures would help me feel peace with a decision.
I have looked to my husband and even tried to use his “man of the house” status to evade me being part of the decision.
I have longed for my mama. Maybe she could tell me which is the best course. Maybe her wisdom would give me the steadiness and reassurance I need to jump in.
It is almost as if I need to hear that it would be ok by some wise sage or someone “credentialed” to give me the right answer and help me feel certain. But Woman of Judah, I have. And so, have you.
Our Word says:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
You see, God has promised us that He has a plan, regardless of our circumstances and despite our fears and trepidations. God’s plan not only has a deliberate strategy, but it also includes the areas that I have been struggling to come to grips with, my future, my family’s wellbeing, and my hope.
Our task is to put our trust in God completely, trust His Word, and walk in faith. Walk without fear and worry. Make the best decision we can with the information we have and lean into Him as we feel uncertain. Allow Him to be the soft ground we need when it feels impossible to make a choice. As we lean in, we must listen. Listen with intention and seeking to understand. Once we feel that push, we must jump with Him, in faith, into the unknown. The waters we walk on may be troubled, but we know who we are and WHOSE we are. We know who can hold us up and keep us going.
Women, of Judah, I will not tell you what decision we made because I never want you to judge yourself against someone else’s decision. But – I do want you to lean into Him, allow him to guide you through your troubled waters, whatever they are. Listen to His will for you and be resolute in what you hear. Fear not, keep going, change course if needed when new information is present. There are no bad decisions. None that will make us unworthy of his love and protection.
You’ve got this! We’ve got this!